Japanese――Too "Shy" People

by Natsumi

How do you think about Japanese people’s behavior? Generally, Japanese are really shy and silent, and care about other’s eyes too much. Thus, they behave too formal and don’t assert themselves. In most cases, foreign people think Japanese are so polite because of the reserved attitude, but some foreigners consider Japanese have no idea of their own. Plus, Japanese people usually have a hard time when they face to the situation that they have to say “no”, so it is too complicated for European people to communicate with Japanese people; Japanese people try to tell the negative opinion with half concealing opinion instead of saying “no” directly. Maybe you will hear the phrase “up to you” or “I have no idea” when you talk with Japanese people. It might mean that they don’t want to do the thing which is recommended by someone, but also they don’t want to say “no”, so they try to give the role to say it to someone. However, European people receive the words literally so they are often confused about what the Japanese mean.

Where does the Japanese behavior come from? According to the article The Reasons Why Japanese people get shy when talking with foreign people, “it is said that Western culture is guild culture and the Japanese one is culture of shame. Europeans and Americans will regulate the behavior in the interior of themselves, but the Japanese people to regulate themselves by the eyes of others. Many Japanese are not good at making a presentation in front of people, because they tend to be too much careful about the eyes of others.” Yes――I agree with this opinion as one of Japanese. However, why people care about other’s eyes? Can you assume the reason?

One day, one of my Chinese Friend, Yuwei, asked me about Japanese girls. She said “my English teacher told me that Japanese girls never accuse their friends like “you should not to be late for time” directly to the person, but they complain it to other friends. Is that true?” Sadly, It is true. If not always, it almost always happens between Japanese girls. They always try to find faults with others. That’s why they are scared of other’s eyes; they know that if they do something wrong, they will be blamed on someone. It seems ridiculous and strange, however, it helps to make relationship with friends or co-workers better because at least they cannot know that they are blamed by specific someone else.

Why is the Japanese culture so difficult to understand? Japanese people don’t assert themselves, or they even don’t want to show their real feelings. These characteristics often might be considered as immature in many countries, but they are considered as modesty and cooperative. Especially, “not to do outstanding things that spoil the harmony among people” or “do what you are supposed to do without being told to do so” are interpreted as virtue.

In short, it does not mean that Japanese have no opinion even if they keep silent at meeting. If you have a plan to come to Japan, you should remember it; or you will be confused about the attitude of Japanese people.

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